Prayer, Self Knowledge and Changing the Culture

I am grateful to be here at Bonnie's invitation. I visited with her year's ago and was 1) charmed by her warmth and kindness and 2) inspired by her vision. That vision - of women coming together in prayer - is why I am here. I believe in the power of what can be when women pray. I believe that when Christ reveals himself in prayer, each one of us is revealed to ourselves. When we see ourselves as Christ sees each one of us, we are free. And this is the sort of freedom that changes the world. I am certainly no expert on prayer, but I believe that openness to God gives him the opportunity to reveal to us his plan and the obstacles to it.

First, let me briefly introduce the SBA List. I would not be here without this mission. The SBA List involves women - with all their unique abilities - in the political process at every level. These women share our conviction that the breaking of the bond between mother and child - epitomized in every abortion - has had drastic effects on women, children and families in our culture. We seek to elect women to public office with a vision of how to repair the breach - through the law and in the human heart. I invite you to pick up our materials and speak with me later if you have any questions about the Susan B. Anthony List's political work.

Men women and children at all socio-economic levels in our culture are suffering. That culture is starved for women who echo the "yes" of Christ's mother, Mary. Just as she pushed fear and knowledge of her own short comings aside, we as women look with honesty at ourselves as Christ sees us and know our mission. That "yes" to Christ's invitation to understand and carry out our mission will lead to healing for our culture in many ways.

There can be no doubt about the need. You've heard the statistics: the divorce rate has almost doubled since 1960. Based on projection of current divorce rates, between 40 and 50 percent of marriages today are likely to end in divorce or separation. 1/3 of all births are out of wedlock. Statistics show that broken families lead to a whole host of social ills - abortion, suicide, poverty, child abuse. In tact, healthy families are indicators of good mental, economic well-being and spiritual health. The family is the vital cell of civilization and it is sick. Christ came into the world through a family. It was not necessary for him to come that way, but he did. He showed us its primacy and now I believe he needs us to restore it.

A mighty charge! Restore the family.

I believe that restoration starts one by one -- with each of us searching out the truth about ourselves in prayer.

One of the central teachings of Pope JPII pontificate was that freedom was found in that approach. First quoting Christ in his encyclical Redempotor Hominis he said,

'You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.' "These words contain both a fundamental requirement and a warning: the requirement of an honest relationship with regard to truth as a condition for authentic freedom, and the warning to avoid every kind of illusory freedom, every superficial unilateral freedom, every freedom that fails to enter into the whole truth about man and the world."

Mel Gibson spoke of illusory in an interview before release of his movie The Passion. He had everything the world could offer. He believed the promises of happiness and freedom and he became a prisoner. He wanted to die. Then on his knees he began to see the truth about himself, his true path and the obstacles in the way. He began to say "yes" to the path he saw, working on the sticks and stones - maybe boulders - in his way.

That is what we each are called to do. See ourselves honestly - as our father in heaven who loves us like crazy does - and then experience the freedom of forgetting ourselves in our mission as women.

I remember when I was little at St. Paul's Episcopal pre-school learning that "your soul is who you are." That made a big impression on me. As it still does. You ignore who you are at your own peril. (The truth is I did just that and I can attest to the misery that created!) If you ignore what Pascal called that "God-sized hole" in the human heart, no real freedom and peace can abide there.

The longing for peace in our own hearts is what I believe is the key to finding peace in our culture. But while we can readily point out the obstacles to peace in the culture and world, do we know the obstacles in our own hearts. What passions, what illusory freedoms keep me bound and blurr my own ability to follow Christ's lead in my life?

I think you have to find and root out the obstacles before the path can be clear. I think of it as being plunked down in an enormous castle with hallway after hallway after room with dangerous balconies and of course a moat. Then I'm told, you can find and have the crown jewels in this castle, but you may only search at night without the aid of light, and you must wear these dark glasses, by the way. If the crown jewels are self-knowledge and freedom, the darkness is my root passions that keep me from it.

To search out those passion, I found the approach in an Ignatian retreat - an approach to prayer that has survived the test of time for hundreds of years - to be personally liberating. The three root passions are Pride, Vanity and Sensuality. The idea is to entrust the truth about ourselves to God who loves us to a degree we cannot know. Then allowing Him to show us specifically what is clouding our vision. Where can make concrete efforts, by practicing the virtue I need more of -- to follow him more closely.

Is my root passion?
1. PRIDE -When we base our security in ourselves.
Some manifestations of this:
CONTROL - problems with trusting others, even God. I feel threatened if not in control because I could cause failure. Trying to control others (kids, spouse, friends) and not accepting them as they are. Difficulty in delegating. Impatience in others.
(If you want it done right, do it yourself!)

RATIONALIZATION - we become the criteria for right and wrong. We are never wrong. Don't accept thinks through faith. I need always to see them.
(I inherited that fault!)

JUDGEMENTAL - we are critical of others especially when we are mad at ourselves. We don't want others to be better than ourselves. We put a mask on and have a false elevated idea of ourselves.
(That family of yours may have succeeded in some things, but they will never measure up to mine. Honey, what is it about you that got us in this mess. You are not doing your job.)

ALWAYS PROVING ONESELF - Driven to accomplish goals. This forms who I am. Never being satisfied with doing enough. Having higher expectations of myself than God does. Not accepting myself as I am. Putting my self-esteem in my work.
(Personal Add a beads of accomplishment)

SELF-PITY - getting down when I am not perfect or I fail in anything.
(How could IIIIII have failed?)

INDEPENDENCE - Not wanting to depend on anyone; they might let me down. Not depending on God through prayer. When things get busy prayer is the first to go.
(Step aside, it's time for ME to get the job done. God is in his heaven - no room for him as a pathfinder or mission maker. I make the mission and carry it out.)

Is my root passion/sin
2. Vanity - Putting security in others (in what they think of me).

Manifested:
Wanting others to admire me; thinking that I'm the best when others recognize my talents; (I was GREAT!) being dominated by human respect as with shyness - when shyness is in great measure because I'm afraid of the opinions of others. Two-facedness or hypocrisy in the attempt to make myself accepted, abandoning or silencing my principles in order to "fit in" easily, judging others when they don't agree with me, and speaking openly and critically about the failures of others, desiring intimate friendships to appear popular (oh yes, I know his second cousins brother. We are so close); breaking confidences and stretching the truth to make myself look good and admired.

Talking about myself - always making myself the center of the story or attention. (That reminds me of me!)

Severe disappointment when I or my things are not admired.

Seeking to be accepted even when it means I must bend or abandon principles.

Rejoicing in others failures when they make me look better. (Beauty contest of the South; her dress is not quite what it could be on someone else. A little tight.)

Is my root passion/sin
3. Sensuality - Putting our security and self esteem in things. Seeking instant gratification.
I don't feel like it: Primacy to my feelings such that my daily work depends upon my emotional state. Whether I feel like it, whether I like the person I'm working with, whether the moment "moves me." Whether I like the task. Avoiding service when I don't feel good; always accomplishing any responsibilities at the last minute just to finish them without concern for their perfection. Wasting time easily and when I'm not under deadline, working only on what I like most; fleeing anything which exacts bodily mortification of me; complaining about everything; if I'm feeling under the weather, everyone knows.

Materialism - Always wanting the newest most up to date item on the market; never wanting to throw anything out or give it away. Overly attached to any personal possession; excessive worry about hings and about money. NEEDING THINGS (purse, shoes, nails done) to feel good about self; excessive shopping, especially when I feel down.

Life of Pleasure -
Comfort - avoiding what requires the most effort, seeking the most comfort, avoiding what requires being "put out" or inconvenienced.
Escapism - Daydreaming, not controlling my thoughts, castles where I am the heroine. (My plans for rural life. Calculated for. . . ?)
Food - Not controlling my appetite, overeating at meals, eating only what I like
Misuse - of TV, Movies, alcohol, internet (check e-mail!)
Impurity - looking at sex for selfish pleasure.

The truth is there are bits of each-- of pride, vanity and sensuality in each of us imperfect creatures. Life is a struggle against each of them toward happiness. The helpful thing I've found is to be concrete as possible. Identify in prayer -- which is the biggest obstacle to furthering my honest, open friendship with Christ. What keeps him from the center of my life the most? Different stages in life may bring a new obstacle into dominance.

Whatever it is, it is less powerful than the virtue that can overcome it, if we make a commitment to practice it daily. For each way I see Pride invading my daily life (with my help), I can counter it with an active virtue. Asking for grace to practice meekness helps me listen more attentively to the opinions of my children. Asking for a practicing dependence upon God rather than myself leads me back to daily prayer rather than self-sufficiency.

Such a daily commitment to prayer and to the concrete practice of virtue can root out the obstacles to understanding God's plans for me. I believe this is a path to freedom. It is a path to freedom that will lead each of us to love our purposes, our callings even more. It may lead us in different directions. And it is ultimately critically important for our nation. Prayer and authentic self-knowledge will result in positive change and healing in our culture.

That is why, again, I am so encouraged by Tapestry's ministry and have been so inspired by its growth. I congratulate you for your part in it and I thank you for having me.